Roasted Asparagus and Mustard-Garlic Salmon

My husband is good for many things. Seriously. I can't and won't list the many things I'm grateful for about him, but the recipe that I'm about to share definitely makes the cut.  It's so good, so simple, and so easy that I feel I must share it with you. This dish is so good that we don't serve it on fancy serving platters along with mason jars in our place settings. No, we generally just eat it right off the foil that the dish is cooked on in the oven. What could this possibly be, you ask? My friends, the answer is asparagus.

That's right.

The stuff that makes your pee smell sort of funny but tastes amazing--especially when cooked like this.

Roasted Asparagus

1 bunch of asparagus, the thinner the better (they roast better that way. You can do it with thicker pieces, but you'll need to adjust the cooking times--probably a slightly lower temperature for longer. Yay experiments!)
1 tbsp olive oil
Garlic powder
Black pepper
Onion Powder
Chili Powder
Paprika

Preheat oven to 375 F

Trim the bottom ends off of the aspragus and wash well. Spread the asparagus out on a piece of foil and brush with the olive oil. Sprinkle on the spices, to your taste. We like 'em spicy, but you can adjust to your taste. Pop the asparagus in the oven for 40-45 minutes (or until it looks slightly shriveled and crunchy). Take them out, and try not to burn your fingers when you're devouring this crunchy, nutty vegetably goodness. (Picture to come next time we make this...if we can snap one before we eat it all.)


Unfortunately I didn't snap a picture of the asparagus before we devoured it, but I did get a picture of the salmon I made to eat right along with it!
I used this sauce on it but really really really modified (I will come around to doing Smitten Kitchen recipes, but I modified this one so much I'm not counting this as one from her site).  Here's the sauce:

Salmon and Honey Garlic Sauce

2 Tbsp light mayonnaise
2 Tbsp spicy brown mustard
2 Tbsp blue agave (You can also sub honey, or splenda and a little water or olive oil)
1 large clove of garlic, minced
Black Pepper
Paprika
2 salmon fillets

Preheat oven to 350 F

Combine all the ingredients (except the salmon) in a bowl, and whisk together. Brush on two salmon fillets, and arrange in a lightly oiled baking pan. Bake for 25 minutes, or until the fish is cooked through (the middle looks light and opaque, more white than pink).

Mmm. Omega 3's.

The green stuff you see in the picture is parsley that I thought might be good on it. I was wrong. I'm a fan of parsley in general (it tastes like Pesach to me) but it didn't really add much to this dish. However, the rest of it tasted awesome. Especially the ice cream for dessert.

Love and popsicles,

Dalia (and Dani)

I Made a Mess: Chocolate Peanut Butter Tart

Some of my counter, covered in flour, sugar, and cocoa powder

I made a mess.

It was a fun mess, but a mess nonetheless.

For dessert for Shabbat lunch, I decided to attempt this recipe. Chocolate and peanut butter is usually a pretty winning combination, even though I myself am not overly fond of peanut butter (I once legitimately got yelled at for this. I was told in no uncertain terms that, ‘Ambrosia is the food of the gods, and everyone knows that’s wine. But if it wasn’t wine, it would be PEANUT BUTTER.’ Sheeeeeesh).

I like Annie’s Eats blog. I really do. Despite the fact that she seems able to fit more into her day than I can in a week, despite that she (and her entire family) look kind of like those too-perfect fake family photos you get in the frames before you put your own picture in where you’re smiling weirdly and still have red eye (but who cares because pictures are fun!) and despite the fact that she loves using mason jars with a snooty little lemon wedge for drinking glasses and her food always looks perfect.

Especially this tart. I have no idea how she got her lines so straight or perfectly marbled or none of her crust to stick to her pan or whatever, but even with my flaws, this thing tasted pretty darn good, and that’s coming from someone who doesn’t even like peanut butter.

A few notes about this recipe:

-Since I keep kosher and was making this dessert for Shabbat lunch which is traditionally meat, I didn’t use margarine or heavy cream because I wanted to keep it pareve. I used Smart Beat margarine (I do my darndest to not use hydrogenated oils) in the crust, and I subbed Silk Sunflower drink for the heavy cream because it was the only thing in the goshdarn store (including soymilk) that didn’t have an OU-D on it.

-Ok, she says this dough will be ‘quite soft’. Understatement of the year. Maybe it was because I was working with margarine instead of butter, but this dough was suuuuper soft—like cookie batter soft. Called over the hubby expert before I put it in the fridge to chill and he said it looked ok. But even after an hour of chilling in the fridge, the idea of rolling this out with a rolling pin was laughable. We sort of smooshed it around the tart pan with a spatula (maybe chilling longer would have helped? Of course, that would entail actually planning your Fridays so you that have enough time to make a simple dessert. Planning is for suckers.)

 So. Squishy.

-Ironically, once I put it into the oven to bake, it reacted like a normal pie crust—which means those pie weights would have been helpful, since it did puff up in the oven. Live and learn.

-Annie is in love with chilling things. Maybe that’s why her dessert was more symmetrical than mine…ANYWHOO, here’s what I did: Baked the crust, stuck it in the freezer. Melted the peanut butter. Took pie crust out of freezer. Spread peanut butter. Put pie crust back in freezer. Did the whole melty cream/chocolate chip thing the way she describes it in the recipe (not my fave way to melt chocolate chips. Prefer double boiler method, but I digress! Perhaps for another post.). Took pan out of the freezer. Spread melty chocolate thing. Piped peanut butter messily and tried to make it look pretty.

End result:

 You can tell where my edges got a little too drizzly. Stuck it back in the freezer. Moved it to the fridge a couple of hours before we were ready to eat it, but it probably could have stayed in the freezer longer. And yes, it basically did taste like a giant peanut butter cup. Enjoy!

Original recipe:

Chocolate Peanut Butter Tart

Yield: about 6 servings

INGREDIENTS

For the crust:
1 cup all-purpose flour
¼ cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
¼ tsp. salt
¼ cup sugar
8 tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature (I used Smart Balance Margarine. Earth Balance usually works much better. Just didn't have any on hand.)
1 large egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tbsp. heavy cream ( I used pareve sunflower drink)

For the filling: 
¾ cup creamy peanut butter, divided
5 oz. bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped (Pareve chocolate chips)
¾ cup heavy cream (again, sunflower drink)

DIRECTIONS

• To make the crust, combine the flour, cocoa powder, and salt in a small bowl.  Whisk to blend.  In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, 2-3 minutes.  Blend in the egg and vanilla.  With the mixer on low speed, add in the dry ingredients alternating with the cream, beginning and ending with the flour mixture.  The dough will be quite soft.  Transfer the dough to a piece of plastic wrap, form into a rectangle, and wrap tightly.  Chill until firm, at least 1 hour and up to 2 days.
• Transfer the chilled dough to a well floured work surface.  Roll the dough out into a 7 x 16-inch rectangle and fit into a 4½ x 14-inch rectangular tart pan, pressing the dough into the edges of the pan.*  Trim away any excess.  Prick all over the surface of the dough with the tines of a fork.  Freeze the lined tart pan until the dough is firm, about 30 minutes.
• Preheat the oven to 350˚ F.  Line the crust with parchment paper and fill with baking beads, dried beans or rice. Bake until the edges are set, about 20 minutes.  Remove the weights and parchment and bake 5-10 minutes more.  Let cool completely, about 30 minutes.
• To make the filling, place ½ cup of the peanut butter in a small microwave-safe bowl.  Heat until fluid, about 20-30 seconds.  Pour into the bottom of the tart crust and smooth into an even layer.  Freeze until the peanut butter is firm, about 20 minutes.  Place the chopped chocolate in a medium bowl.  Bring the cream just to a boil.  Pour over the chocolate and let sit 1-2 minutes.  Meanwhile, heat the remaining ¼ cup of peanut butter until fluid.  Transfer to a plastic bag.  Whisk the chocolate mixture together until a smooth ganache forms.  Pour the ganache into the tart shell in an even layer.  Snip a small tip off of the corner of the plastic bag and pipe the peanut butter in diagonal lines on top of the ganache.  Use a toothpick or skewer to marble them gently together. Chill until well set, at least 1 hour and up to 8 hours.  Slice and serve.

"Healthy" Fettucine Alfredo

My first attempt is a recipe (original recipe is below) from a blog called "Pinch of Yum".  She basically makes me feel bad for existing because while I sit in my apartment with my husband and feel good because I work in the non-profit world, she moved to somewhere exotic (the Phillipines) and is teaching in an orphanage for a year. And cooks food. And takes pictures. And blogs about it.

A couple notes from while I was cooking: She wants me to boil the cauliflower, and then while that's cooking, start cooking the pasta in another pot. How many pots does this woman think I have? I just cooked the cauliflower and after using 2 cups of the water in the blender, emptied it out and cooked the pasta in the same pot, keeping the sauce warm. It allllllll worked out. I used one large head of cauliflower. It was perfect.


The recipe calls for 6 gloves of garlic, which is a lot in and of itself. But I usually use more than called for in a recipe, because there is more than one clove wrapped up in that papery garlic wrapping and I don't want to separate the friends! (read: I'm super lazy. If it's unwrapped, I'm going to use it.) And I like to think of cloves of garlic as Forrest Gump's chocolate box. Inside that opaque skin is a goshdang mystery! When I tasted the sauce after the blender, the first words out of my mouth were, 'Whoa--super garlicky.' Whoops. It was still good.

My super awesome garlic cloves

Actually, for reals a word about garlic: in the recipe she says to cook it for 4-5 minutes. I personally think that's a little long. Garlic burns super easily and cooks quickly. Keep an eye on this pan while it's cooking. I think 2-3 minutes should do it. Next time I make this I might also sautee onions with the garlic (if you do this, start the onions first as they take much longer to cook) and add that in.

The sauce didn't have that cheesy taste or texture that I'm used to from classic fettucine alfredo. I think it needed a bit more salt than I put in. That being said, it was creamy (I actually think this base would make a kick butt cauliflower soup) and pretty satisfying on the pasta.

Also, my butter wasn't melting. And wasn't melting. AND WASN'T MELTING. How many minutes do you think it took for me to figure out that I had turned on the wrong burner? Yay for being special.

HEALTHY FETTUCCINE ALFREDO

Author: Pinch of Yum

Prep time:  15 mins

Cook time:  15 mins

Total time:  30 mins

Serves: 8

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb. uncooked fettuccine noodles
• 3 small heads cauliflower
• 6 cups vegetable broth
• 6 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 teaspoon salt
• pinch of nutmeg
• pinch of black pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• ¼ cup heavy cream
• 1 cup starchy boiling water from pasta pot

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Chop the cauliflower. Bring the vegetable broth to a boil over medium high heat and add cauliflower. Cook until cauliflower is soft, about 15 minutes. In my experience, the longer you cook it, the smoother the sauce will be. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and saute for 4-5 minutes or until soft and fragrant.
2. As the garlic and cauliflower are cooking, bring a large pot of water to boil and cook the fettuccine according to directions on package, reserving some of the starchy water to add to the sauce later.
3. Transfer cauliflower to a blender with about 2 cups of the broth. You may need to do this in batches depending on the size of your blender. Add the sauteed garlic, salt, nutmeg, and black pepper and puree until very smooth, about 5 minutes. Once the mixture is moving, stream the olive oil into the blender. Add more broth or water if the mixture is too thick to move through the blender. You want it to turn through the blender easily. When puree is very smooth, transfer back to the butter/garlic skillet.
4. Add the cream and cook over low heat. Add the starchy pasta water (or regular water if you’re not making pasta) and keep warm until ready to serve. Combine noodles and sauce in a large pot or skillet and serve immediately.

NOTES

The sauce will “dry out” a little bit as it cools on the pasta. Adding a little water to the leftovers will help make it creamy again. Serving size is ⅛ of the noodles with about 1 cup of sauce.

Rating: A tad labor intensive, but all in all a good recipe. As soon as Hubby tasted it he said, 'Mmm. Make this more.' Which is a compliment as he's quite the chef himself.  OK, awesome person in the Phillipines who teaches and cooks and blogs and is perfect. Round one goes to you.

Hello World

So, I enjoy poking fun at things. I like sarcasm, being jaded—I think those things are hilarious. And yet, I’m also helplessly fascinated by the completely earnest. Which is probably why I browse food blogs.

I’m not talking serious things with gourmet missions. No, I’m talking the Annie’s Eats, Smitten Kitchens, and Shiksa blogs on the internet—what I lovingly refer to as the Martha Stombies or the Stepford Wives. And yet, most of the time when I’m aimlessly surfing the web and my husband asks what I’m looking at, I’m mostly answering these: I find myself coming back to websites like this time and again—the slightly hipster, mostly instagrammed home cooking/home ec-like blogs (I'm looking at you, Cup of Jo). I roll my eyes and yet it’s super compelling—what makes these women with busy lives (some of them are stay at home moms, some work full time and make time to blog and do their own crafts and glue together authentic Lincoln cabins out of toothpicks) do this? Some say they find it relaxing (I don’t buy it). And for all that I love to poke fun at the lives they portray (‘I’m taking a weekend getaway to the Hamptons with my Aberzombie husband and Gerber baby and I’ll make shrimp scampi and a dessert with a name no one can pronounce and then I’ll blog about it! What fun!’) there is something there that I find totally fascinating.

Since there isn’t enough irreverence on the internet, and in a world where Lindsey Lohan’s post rehab photos are everywhere so we’re clearly all gluttons for punishment, I’ve decided to offer my take on cooking, home and what it’s like to be a part time employed married twenty something who likes to mess around in the kitchen.

Read on for the bizarro Stepford blog, the ‘Julie and Julia’ story without a perky Amy Adams or her nose, where I compare myself to those I don’t understand—and maybe even blog about an occasional DIY apartment craft gone terribly, horribly wrong.